You all want to get Lowell. Admit it. If you say that you don’t want Lowell, it’s only because you’re saving yourself from disappointment. No one wants to set their eyes on #1 and risk ending up with #12. You all say “I’d be happy anywhere in the River” and “I’m just happy to be living with my blockmates” and “I think Quincy is kind of cute and Kirkland is quirky,” etc. But is that true? Is “quirky” still cute when it means sub-zero temperatures, ultra-thin walls, and living with rats? Do you really want to be a Junior sleeping in a tent in the common room with a walk-through bathroom?
No. You want Lowell and its 83.7% singles. You want Lowell and its hand-painted wallpaper and chandeliers. You want Lowell with its sound-proof dance studio, full-size theater, and 3D printers. Do you need any of those things? No. Do you want all of it? Yes.
Face it: Lowell is Elite. It hosts high tea every Thursday and the grass in its two courtyards is trimmed every Tuesday. Lowell Speeches are dignified, the Lowell Opera is cultured, and Bacchanalia is decadent. It’s pretty to look at and even nicer to live in. A four-minute walk from the Yard, you’re never late to class. In this gated community at the top of a literal hill, you’ll feel right at home.
Maybe there’s only one dumpster for 400 residents located in the recesses of the basement. Maybe the dining hall’s tray-return machine is a bottomless cave of broken dishes. Maybe that wallpaper in the JCR is culturally insensitive. And maybe I live in an 80 square foot room that could be considered a closet. But you know the truth: Lowell is King, and you’re desperate to be its subjects.
Image Credit: HPR / Adiya Abdilkhay
