With the holidays upon us, it seems like the “White Christmas” of Irving Berlin’s treasured melody is finally here. And yes, I mean Christmas and Christmas alone; forget Hanukah and all that other crap. This year, just as Donald Trump promised time and time again on the campaign trail, Americans will be saying “Merry Christmas” to every Tom, Dick, and Harry. And boy, will that Christmas be white.

After over a decade of both increased temperatures and rising ethnic-racial representation, aspirations of a White Christmas seemed futile, a memory lost in time. While the refrain “and may all your Christmases be white” repeated on every Christmas station, few anticipated the lyrics would come to fruition in the near future.

This December, however, Americans across the country can look forward to a White Christmas, from the mountains of Colorado to the vast plains of rural Texas. Even places like Miami will be seeing a White Christmas; the last time they encountered such an event came with the nationwide cold front of 1977.

When questioned about the projected forecast, President Donald Trump took credit, and this time rightfully so.

“Fox News and MSM alike are anticipating a WHITE CHRISTMAS this year! One of my many GREAT accomplishments in office! MAGA!” Trump tweeted Friday morning from his home in Mar-a-Lago.

Trump has spent his tenure preparing for this momentous event. Starting with the appointment of 16 white men to his cabinet of 21, Trump has worked hard to surround himself with a staff that embodies the core image in Berlin’s standard: a world washed by white.

Environmental changes in recent years have prevented Berlin’s dream from becoming a reality. Last Christmas, record high temperatures swept up the eastern seaboard, a phenomenon environmentalist Al Gore attributed to the rising tide of global warming. With Texas evangelical Rick Perry at the helm of the EPA, however, a White Christmas is all but inevitable.

“Oh yes, I do expect us to see a nationwide White Christmas this year. Our offices in the EPA may be largely vacant, but the positions we have filled are most certainly white,” Perry said.

Mary Ellin Barrett, Berlin’s eldest daughter, admitted that her father’s lyrics may have been lost in translation. “Yes, these times are ‘like the ones we used to know.’ When my father wrote that, however, I think he was nostalgic for simpler times. He was most certainly not harkening back to a time in which the Klu Klux Klan casually roamed the streets!”

In the spirit of Berlin’s song, First Lady Melania Trump has committed herself to decorating her home in the color for which it was named. The Cross Hall of the White House is lined with faux snow capped evergreens, while the East Colonnade decorations are completely devoid of color.

Though snow is unlikely come December 25, we know we can count on President Trump for a nation dominated by white.

Image credit: Wikimedia Commons/White House (Lawrence Jackson)

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