Humor | February 21, 2016 at 10:52 pm

Jeb Bush Campaign Revealed As This Year’s Biggest Ponzi Scheme

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This week, the Jeb Bush campaign was unmasked as an elaborate, $150 million dollar Ponzi scheme designed to trick donors into believing George H.W. Bush’s second son could win the Republican nomination. Thousands of investors were notified of their losses when Jeb Bush dropped out of the presidential race on Saturday, following disappointing showings in Iowa, New Hampshire, and South Carolina.

Enticed by his family legacy, strong credentials as former governor of Florida, favorable media reports, and notable endorsements, investors failed to realize Jeb had zero prospects whatsoever. Former supporters are calling him “the new Bernie”—and they don’t mean Sanders.

“How can I explain to my son that I can’t buy his admission to Harvard because I got duped by Danny Diaz?” asked Bill Alter, a former hedge fund manager.

“I can’t believe this. He’s a Bush! I thought his victory was a sure thing,” says investment banker Robert Klein, referencing the fact that Jeb’s father, George H.W. Bush, and brother, George W. Bush, served as the 41st and 43rd presidents of the United States respectively.

It is unclear whether the U.S. government will pursue legal action against the Bush campaign for Jeb’s criminally poor performance. Jeb Bush did not respond to request for comment.

 

Image Credit: Gage Skidmore/Flickr

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